Just what's Up?

Last Saturday 28th August, Paan surprised me with a Macbook Pro. Well I knew he was planning to buy a Macbook. But really thought it was gonna be an Air rather than a Pro. Of course I was surprised and happy and worried at the same time. Because its like taking care of another baby than the existing babies I have (Mateen and his coming baby brother). Its like a new responsibility to me lulz. I never had a laptop of my own. I mean never have I ever have a brand new laptop that is meant for me and only me. Growing up, I used dad's or mom's laptops and broke them hahaha. So sure this time I am worried that I might do the same. But anyway, I will try my best :D Ok thats just an intro to my writing today. Lets see if I will be able to finish writing. Or at least try to write as much as I can. Paan is leaving us in less than 10 days. We're migrating to middle east because he works there now. Rezeki alhamdulillah. He will be going first, then apply for our visas for us to fly to him. Just the timing is really crucial as I am already in my third trimester and by the time our visas will be approved, I am not fit anymore to fly; most probably in my 36th week. I would be paddling instead of walking by then! So anyway long story cut short, best time for all of us to go there is when baby K arrives, get his visa approved, maybe January 2022. Wow.. just by typing 2022 makes me feel like where the fish did the time go?? It was just yesterday I gave birth to Mateen huhu. So actually Paan is already working with his current comp since Nov 2020. But under current circumstances, he was told to just work from home. almost a year of working from him, I will take that as a luxury to me having him around to take care of mateen together. Infact its a luxury to us as a family.. I would not be able to see Mateen grow infront of my eyes and see him learning new things everyday. Alhamdulillah. But it suddenly hit me like he is really leaving.. and we will only get to see each other after at least 5 months. I have yet to figure out how will I take care of Mateen while working. And then when baby K comes, of course I will ahve my maternity leave but its a work leave not a mother's leave. Get it??/ But I believe I will learn as I go. So insyaAllah hopefully everything will be just fine.To be honest, I am more worried of having contraction alone without anyone to support me and physically be there with me during my labour. I know I am thinking too much but I really need to do some mental preparation right. Mental, physical and emotinal. YES I CAN! Ok I think that is all for now.. Its already 12;40 and I should already be sleeping. Hopefully we will get to see the airshow for merdeka from our balcony. Goodnight xx